Everywhere you look at the moment, the old certainties seem to be shifting, re-focussing. The recent revelations of the Paradise Papers, for example, leaked documents about offshore activities of the super rich. What does it all mean? Will anything change when the dust settles? We wanted to get the thoughts of financial dodgy dealer Bernie Foxton. Surely if anyone’s got something relevant and pithy to say on the subject it must be the sly old Fox(ton). We caught up with him in the prison library, signing copies of his latest book, for a small gratuity of course.
‘To be honest, I can’t see what all the fuss is about. It’s perfectly legal isn’t it? I had a bit of loose change myself tied up in Belize and Jersey. Not now of course. It’s where the honest money’s going after they closed up that nice little Irish loophole. Many a time I’ve been waiting in the executive lounge at Shanklin Airport and had a little word with Lewis about his cornering. Shame. Why can’t a bloke enjoy the fruits of his labours. Would you drive round at 200 mile an hour, with some maniac after you, with your backside 6 inches off the ground and not expect some recompense? Or at least a bit of soft pedalling on your VAT? It’s the least a geezer could expect.’
What about the fact that you’re withholding taxes from people who really deserve it?
Anyway, you can always shift to somewhere a bit more cliffy, like the Isle of Man. What? … you still here? These books won’t sign themselves you know.’